The Skinny on the Queen of the Jiggly Bitches

Hi my name is Suzi O. Bunkers and I am the self proclaimed Queen of the Jiggly Bitches –  (Princess on a good day).  I’m really just a middle aged mama (45 ) from middle America(St. Louis, MO) trying to get her mojo back(that magical feeling that makes you feel like you own whatever room you’re in).   I am a career weight dropper!  The only career I’m better at is as a career weight putter back oner!  Really – if Guinness would have been following my ass for the past 24 years are so – I’d be a household name.  I figure I have lost approx 4,992 pounds over my say 24 year career. That is based on a conservative average of 4 pounds per week.  Now you may be thinking – holy shit this girl is good!  But – I only lose it for 1, 2 maybe 5 weeks – only to gain back 4 – 5 – 8 for who knows how many weeks.  My M.O. is usually waking up punching my pillow mad every Mother Fucking Monday (MFM) – as I have to build myself up to start all over again!  I have had enough!  My body has had enough and Lord knows my health – mental and physical can not withstand another MFM (say it with me…Mother Fucking Monday).  Look I know what to do.  You know what to do and I thought just maybe if we did it together we could make fit stay and have some laughs along the way.  I’m so fed up with the “Skinny Bitches” and the “Skinny Girl” reality star(ving) housewive thinking they know how to tell us what to do – when their bony ass hasn’t a clue what it’s like to be me or you!  The truth is – no skinny ass former model, vegan pedaling prostitute (ok – I probably went a little far there with the prostitute thing – I was on a roll) can tell me how to do it.  What do you say we do this thing….let’s get off this Duncan Classic Deluxe Butterfly (that’s a yo-yo reference) – put an end to MFMs and make this fit thing a way of life.   You can lean on me every step of the way – and you can bet that I’ll be leaning back!  With love, laughter and good health ever after.

Suzi O Bunkers

Queen of the Jiggly Bitches.

ps – I have two happy kids, Johni – She is 10(11 in July) and Luke – He is 9. My husband, Greg, is a Doctor of Molecular Biology – yes, go figure a scientist.  I thought he worked construction when i spied him living below me in the apartments 16 years ago.  I have a small advertising agency (Shebang Marketing STL) that I run out of my home office.

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9 thoughts on “The Skinny on the Queen of the Jiggly Bitches

    • Shannon – I so responded to your gracious nomination but I see it no where! So here i gloat again :)! Thank you so much for “One Lovely Blog” award nom. I remember you made my night when it came across on my Blackberry! I toasted you with some grapes and sent some big time gratitude. Glad I found ya. Congrats to you!!

  1. Pingback: “The Bitch is Back” | jigglybitch

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