“I Just Want to Hit My Goal Before I Hit the Hole”

“Mom, how did you even get those on?”…My 10 year old son asked me sincerely, as he attempted to get a pinch of the jeans suffocating my right thigh.  He failed – as he could not separate the fabric from my skin.  He was serious, I mean he really wanted to know how the hell i pulled off such a feat.  I think he thought maybe it was some sort of magic – a trick maybe that he could use someday to impress his friends.

I laughed him off and started trickin’ myself…told him they were supposed to fit like that.  Told him they were comfortable. Told him it was the style – you know like jeggings.  I struggled to grab a pinch of fabric myself. It took three swipes before I finally got a grasp of the tiniest snap of spandex and cotton.  Truth is I was feeling like a puffer fish in a wet suit.  I hate the way those god damn jeans feel when i gain a little weight.  Ahhh, there I go trickin’ again “little“….  Let’s just say I’m not where i started when i began this psychotic task of writing and weighing but I could get there in two shakes of a twinkie with a ding dong chaser.

My good friend told me she drew a line in the sand this past Sunday.  That was it for her.  I got on the scale Monday and texted her my ass had just dug a trench!  Who’s buying what I’m lying down?  Now I wouldn’t go betting the farm….not on my ability to keep these fuckers off but you can bet I’m about to take another fucking run at it.  I’m not a fucking quitter but I am a fucking starter over(er).  50 fuckers is still the goal and I’d like to get there before my body just starts shrinking naturally from old age.  I mean who wants to see me reach my goal at 92 – the leather mini and over the knee boots just won’t have the same effect.

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No disrespect to these over the hill hotties – i just want to reach my goal before I reach the hole!

With Love & Laughter and Good Health Ever After ~ Suzi

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