Yes, you read it here first….(or second if your a lucky facebook fan – “fan” i use that term very loosely). I actually put one foot in front of the other with a little bitty hop in between for a whole entire mile! I have not run that far since that Presidential thingy they put you through in grade school in the early 80s.
A half mile in I thought no way – I can’t do this. But my girlfriend Kruzie said i could and I would, so I did. She knows the trail well and knew exactly where the marker was…. kind of. “Just around the curve”, “Now just past those big trees”, “Now you see there’s the marker” “wait, oh yeah that’s it – your almost there”. It was a beautiful Monday morning a few weeks ago. Look at me all “It was a BEAUTIFUL MONDAY Morning”! I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to beat the MFMs (Mother Fucking Mondays).
I used to think a beautiful Monday morning was climbing back into bed after getting the kids off to school. It certainly wasn’t hitting a trail for a 7 mile wun (including a full on run for a mile) on a cold damp morning. Now I can think of no better way to start my week. Oooo gross – I’m nearly sounding like one of those bitches I used to hate. “Oh – I just love to run”! I get it. I get it – i’m gagging myself here. Let’s get this straight. I don’t Love to run/wun. I LOVE how I feel when it’s done. And I love it being done first thing in the morning. I love how my legs feel like they actually did something. They ache just enough to feel fabulous. Ok – maybe I love to wun just a little tiny bit.
If you do not yet find yourself impressed by my whole fricken’ one mile RUN… Get your jealous ass over here and listen to this. Guess what I did last Monday night. I was at my daughters volleyball practice. There are no chairs to sit on or bleachers. There is only this old time stage. Picture it – with a big thick red velvet curtain – lovely old wooden stage. I had run some errands and had come back to catch the last 15 minutes of her practice. Some of the other moms were already sitting on the edge of the stage. I eyed it and thought for a second…hmmm I may not be able to vault myself up there. But – I did – on the first try, mind you. Now that’s not the part that is meant to blow you away. Wait for it.
I was watching the practice and the next thing I knew…. I was ….I was….. sitting Indian Style! What?! Yes, I said it. Criss cross applesauce, pretzel legs, Indian style. Whatever the hell you want to call it. My legs were tied up like a perfect little bow on a sweet young virgin – like they did it all the time! No pain. No strain – just all tangled up and loving it! I began staring in amazement and lightly rubbing my thighs. “Are you Ok?” – a friend next to be asked. I explained I had not sat this way since since the 1960’s and I was just enjoying the moment – now if she could just please shut up and leave me be.
It’s the little things my friends that you gain by losing the fuckers. I’m bouncing between 21 and 24 fuckers down. I need to buck up and hit it pretty seriously to get to my 50 fuckers to fab goal. Truth is I’m feeling pretty fabulous already. Think how many little things are going to wow me when I get there. Think how good you’ll feel when you get there. Together we will get there – one foot in front of the other with a little bounce in between.
The little thing that I love the most – is just putting something on to go out and not changing 100 times cuz I feel like Shrek. Nope, now I feel like Fiona – and most days it’s even the Fiona before she is turned into an ogre. Now that’s cause for a smile! A big ass, first mile, Indian style kind of smile!