Let’s get this straight – my body was not built for running! This baby was built for sunning – as in on the beach or on the boat usually with an ice-cold Miller Lite close at hand. But it has been called to my attention – and by “called to” – I mean bitch slapped every time I step on the scale of late – and that needle is not dropping. There it sits pointing ever so clearly at 175. Sure, for a weigh day a couple of weeks ago it chimed in at 173 but of late she just stands there fixated at 175! You know what this means? It means my summer tour is officially over my friends! Yes, “Suzi O’s Summer Tour 2012” has come to a screeching halt.
It means my days of “boozin & loozin” have become days of “boozin & oozin“! it means those first 18 fux%ers that fell off were the easy ones. Not easy like a “walk in the park” easy. Easy, like “childbirth” easy. I mean I truly already forgot how difficult it was to get started on this path and lose the 18, and now, here we are on to phase 2. And let me tell you friends, Phase 2 looks like it’s gonna be a big hairy son of a bitch!
But hey – we knew this crap wasn’t gonna be easy! I’m quite proud that i was able to drop the 18 especially during the social event filled days of summer – but now I know I’m treading in dangerous waters. As in – shark infested , rip tide waters. I know that if I don’t get serious about doing what it takes to drop that needle before you know it that rip tide will catch me and carry me right back to beached whale status. I’ve certainly come too far for that!
Yes my pretties, I have a plan. I’ve hit a wall, a rock solid really tall wall! How am I going to break through it, you ask? I’m going to put on my still brand spanking new running shoes that I bought in May and climb over that Mother Fu#$er one jiggly ass step at a time.
I am going to work the plan they gave me at “Fleet Feet” the place i bought my shoes. I will start by walking for 8 minutes and run for 2 minutes (repeat 3x for 30 mins. total a day). You do this ever other day. Next week I will walk for 7 minutes and run for 3 (repeat 3x for 30 mins). This goes on until, Wha-fricken’-lah, you are running for 30 minutes straight. You are supposed to start at walking for 30 mins then the next week do the walk 9 run 1 deal. But, since i have been walking on occasion I feel like I can skip ahead to week 3 which is the walk 8/run2 week. Come on – I should be able to run for 2 minutes straight – shouldn’t I? Please Lord – let me be able to run for two little minutes at a time!
I must tell you I am dreading every fricken’ step. But come on 30 minutes a day – every other day – We can do this! I want to tell you here that on the alternate days I will do another form of workout – like say, Zumba (been wanting to try) or Pilates…..Yes, I do want to tell you that but I’m not going to tell you that. Because, I’d be a big ass liar. I am going to focus on getting this every other day thing done. Baby steps, people!
I’m all geared up. Fleet Feet put me in these extremely high support shoes and an extremely supportive 34 double D “Moving Comfort” boobie trap. I’ve got my playlist kicking off with “I’m Sexy & I Know it”. I got my mind right….well – I’m lying to you again – but it’s as right as it’s gonna be. I just got this thing against running! I fucking hate it!