Boobs – An American Obsession

“Let’s hear it for the Red White & Boobs”

I’m not quite sure when I first learned the power of the girls and by girls I mean – the twins, sisters, melons, rack, bazoombas, jugs, fun bags, hooters, ta-tas…  You guessed it – I’m talking the All American Love Affair with the Red,White & Boobs!


(Me – unleashing some magic in Mexico!  Yes – I took home the Gold)

I’m pretty sure I knew at a young age the all mighty importance of possessing these jiggly mounds of flesh.  I prayed that I would be blessed by the boob fairy and can remember the pride that came with filling out a tube top enough that it wouldn’t roll down to my belly button.

It wasn’t until college that i realized I could actually perform tricks with these babies.  I had missed my 8am class in Journalism for about 5 weeks.  I knew I was toast!  I had to think of something.  My professor – of the male species – was some what of a perv.  I didn’t have first hand experience of the perviness, but you just got that feeling about him. I had already used the “dying grandma routine” earlier so I had to pull out the big guns (enter Smith & Wesson)!  I put on a tight – t and headed to class early.  I sat down next to him and told him I had found a lump in my breast (now this is nothing to joke about and being the karma fearing chick that i am i made sure my story ended well).  His eyes – as I had predicted – scanned my magic mounds.  I then told him that everything checked out and I was going to be fine.  He told me – he was very happy about that and that he would give me more credit for my final to make up for the missing work & no worries on missing nearly half the semester.  Abra-fricken-Dabra!  My magic mounds made my Failing grade disappear!

You know it doesn’t hurt to work what cha got!  I work my weapons of mass distraction like a mathematician works his calculator.  Were both using something to give us an edge.  Now you have to admit my edge is a way more fun!  You can bet a calculator never got anyone free drinks, out of jail or precious jewels.

Bitches – we got Boobs!  Girls want ’em!  Guys love ’em!  The world is obsessed with ’em and guess who has them!?!?  That’s right my Jiggly Joy Melons – We Do!!   It’s rare that you see a skinny bitch with big bodacious ta-tas unless they were paid for.  That’s like seeing how the trick was done and it fucks up the whole magic show!  So stand proud my little JB’s – and work the magic you were blessed with like your David Flippen’ Copperfield!

With Love, Laughter & Good Health Ever After


2 thoughts on “Boobs – An American Obsession

  1. hahahha…you have me laughing so hard!! I spit my coffee out when you told your teacher you found a lump!! I say if you got ’em, use ’em. They (the jugs) are a pain in the ace to run with though.

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