“Let’s hear it for the Red White & Boobs”
I’m not quite sure when I first learned the power of the girls and by girls I mean – the twins, sisters, melons, rack, bazoombas, jugs, fun bags, hooters, ta-tas… You guessed it – I’m talking the All American Love Affair with the Red,White & Boobs!
(Me – unleashing some magic in Mexico! Yes – I took home the Gold)
I’m pretty sure I knew at a young age the all mighty importance of possessing these jiggly mounds of flesh. I prayed that I would be blessed by the boob fairy and can remember the pride that came with filling out a tube top enough that it wouldn’t roll down to my belly button.
It wasn’t until college that i realized I could actually perform tricks with these babies. I had missed my 8am class in Journalism for about 5 weeks. I knew I was toast! I had to think of something. My professor – of the male species – was some what of a perv. I didn’t have first hand experience of the perviness, but you just got that feeling about him. I had already used the “dying grandma routine” earlier so I had to pull out the big guns (enter Smith & Wesson)! I put on a tight – t and headed to class early. I sat down next to him and told him I had found a lump in my breast (now this is nothing to joke about and being the karma fearing chick that i am i made sure my story ended well). His eyes – as I had predicted – scanned my magic mounds. I then told him that everything checked out and I was going to be fine. He told me – he was very happy about that and that he would give me more credit for my final to make up for the missing work & no worries on missing nearly half the semester. Abra-fricken-Dabra! My magic mounds made my Failing grade disappear!
You know it doesn’t hurt to work what cha got! I work my weapons of mass distraction like a mathematician works his calculator. Were both using something to give us an edge. Now you have to admit my edge is a way more fun! You can bet a calculator never got anyone free drinks, out of jail or precious jewels.
Bitches – we got Boobs! Girls want ’em! Guys love ’em! The world is obsessed with ’em and guess who has them!?!? That’s right my Jiggly Joy Melons – We Do!! It’s rare that you see a skinny bitch with big bodacious ta-tas unless they were paid for. That’s like seeing how the trick was done and it fucks up the whole magic show! So stand proud my little JB’s – and work the magic you were blessed with like your David Flippen’ Copperfield!
With Love, Laughter & Good Health Ever After